My staff tells me that Mr. Crime, a New York-based improv group, will be...– Newt Gingrich (via themrcrimegazette)
The Mr. Crime Gazette: Anchor Boy- Birthday... →
themrcrimegazette: This week’s Anchor Boy decision was really a non-decision. It was clearly going to be birthday boy, RILEY SOLONER! Not only is it Riley’s birthday, but he is also a great guy! Riley had a fun show on Tuesday playing a coach that wanted his team to stop masturbating. He also played a sexy…
I Made Something Today. →
Mr. Crime is back and ready to stampede into your...
themrcrimegazette: Mr. Crime is up first at UCB Harold Night tonight and we’re gonna bring it DINOSAUR STYLE (i.e. BADASS, HUGE, and PUT HERE BY THE DEVIL TO MAKE YOU NOT BELIEVE IN GOD). here we come!
second book of 2012!
i finished my second book for 2012, and it’s still January. i think i may have already read more this month than i did all of last year. anyways, the book i just finished is Carol Burnett’s second book called “This Time Together.” it’s a collection of stories about how she got started, and the people she met during her career. the stories were a little brief for...
guyses, this is funny: IN WHICH I FIX MY GIRLFRIEND’S GRANDPARENTS’ WIFI AND AM HAILED AS A CONQUERING HERO. from McSweeney’s.
Alexis Pereira, Male: This Thing I Feel About... →
amosvernon: alexpereira: Don’t pretend. This feels weird to say as an improviser, but I try to never ever pretend. Pretending everything is great is how you lose your point of view and your unique perspective. Also, I personally don’t want people lying to me, nor do I like watching people bullshit each other. … Great post from my buddy and teammate Alexis (reigning Mr. Crime anchor boy!)....
Trader Joes interaction
that’s right, you guyses, i didn’t just speak out loud to the cashier at Trader Joes. i also spoke to another customer! it was exhilarating. man with a long grocery list, following it very closely, shamefully turns to me: Are chick peas and garbanzo beans the same thing? me, with almost a premintion that he was going to ask me that: Yes, they are. man with long grocery list looks...
How To Dry Your Wood
amosvernon: Recently, Will Hines posted a fantastic interview with Chris Gethard on teaching improv. Something that rang especially true with me and my improv philosophy (my improv philosophy and me?) was this quote: ‘You have a right to feel like you can try anything; you have a responsibility to make everyone else on stage feel like they can try anything too.” I feel like the latter half of...
Anonymous asked: Could you bring back the "Ask Boyfriend" segment as the "Ask Fiance" segment?
themrcrimegazette: The first Anchor Boy decision of 2012! What an exciting fun thing to have happen! The lovely, anonymous, hilarious, wonderful, warm, fun, and great ladies of Mr. Crime are excited to be back on track. And this week’s Anchor Boy is Amos “Up For Anything” Vernon!! First of all, Amos made Mr. Crime a drink that had rum and half and half in it. What? That’s crazy! How does...
last night's dream
last night i dreamed that Little Brother was asking me whether he should use just shampoo or just conditioner. and i was all “USE BOTH” and then he was all “but if you had to choose just one.” and my mind blown. i couldn’t believe that he couldn’t grasp such a simple concept of using shampoo and conditioner. add this to my dream about stacking toilet paper,...
I Thought We'd Have Flying Slaves By Now (by... →
amosvernon: A headline I pitched in early December popped up in The Onion today. Proud to stick it to our founding fathers. USA! USA! USA! funny amos.
hahahah at me
here is an email i wrote to my parents in JANUARY OF 2007: Dear Mom and Dad, I am going to get my MBA. I have done some research and found some schools that I would be interested in: University of Chicago Northwestern NYU Penn Stanford and Yale. I am leaning towards Yale. I already signed up for their MBA mailing list. And signed up to be notified of any special meetings for woman in their...
black bean soup
fine! i will tell you my secret recipe for black bean soup! 1 can of black beans hot sauce put entire can of black beans in pan on the stove (include liquid), add hot sauce. simmer. eat!
Dogs Decoded (Documentary)
netflixmoviesthatdontsuck: If you’re a dog lover or owner and are interested in learning a bit more about the (as you will find out) even more unique than once thought relationship between dogs and humans, this documentary is totally worth the watch. The documentary discusses the scientific, emotional, and historical bonds that occur exclusively between humans and dogs, as well as the process of...
michelleinspace: Look at me! I’m in this episode of Jim Santangeli’s Jim-A-Day Calendar on UCBcomedy! yay! watch Alli (i mean Michelle) be great in this.
i thought 2012 would finally be the year that we ended the great Cupcake Wars of Food Network. but apparently there are still women with funky headbands that feel the need to complete for $10,000 in some bizarre thematic challenge. i am not saying this show has ruined Food Network but it has certainly changed the face of the country. i understand it’s hard as an outsider to judge what goes...
The Mr. Crime Gazette: OMG! It's ANCHOR BOY OF THE... →
themrcrimegazette: No, it is not Wednesday. That’s because Wednesday is reserved for REGULAR Anchor Boy announcements. And you are right, there has not been a regular Anchor Boy announcement for two weeks. But there is a reason. And the reason is that the elegant, glorious ladies of Mr. Crime have been anonymously… what crazy news! Anchor Boy OF THE YEAR!
so everybody LOOOOOVES the post about me falling down a flight of stairs, but no one cares even a little bit about pictures of my cat? I DON’T UNDERSTAND THE INTERNET!
fall into ikea
today i went to ikea with Riley and i fell down the stairs. here is his description of what happened. Riley: your foot slipped, your arms went straight up and the map/pencil flew out of your hands you grabbed for the rail and caught it for a second, but your feet were still falling, so all that did for you was spin you around so you’re now BACKWARDS, and that’s when you hit the...
themrcrimegazette: I guess we have to make this in a question form so comments work. Which Mr. Crimers do you think showered, showers at night, or does not shower at all? okay now you can answer the question.
The Results are IN For the Very Important Study
themrcrimegazette: Yesterday, only 3 out of 8 Mr. Crimers took a shower. Here is the breakdown: 3 of them showered 3 of them claimed to be “night showers” so they were still clean and 2 of them just didn’t take a shower. Let the guessing commence. i think it’s pretty obvious where i fall in this.
Important Study- Does Mr. Crime shower
themrcrimegazette: Tonight an important study will take to place. The question: Does Mr. Crime shower before rehearsal? Most Mr. Crimers did not have to work today, so tonight is the perfect time for this important study. Stayed tuned for the results. my guess is that 4/8 of us have showered today. (i did not, nor will i)
robotriley: themrcrimegazette: Just Call it Fun Facts #3: Riley Soloner -Raised by hippies in the Bay Area. -Works for a mobile pizza oven operation. -Got choked up at the end of A.I. in the theatre. -His first date with his first girlfriend was eating Lunchables under a streetlamp. He was 16. This is true. I’m a good guy too, but it doesn’t say anything about that. Riley is a great...